Most people have a general view that if they behave a certain way someone else will change the way they behave. They will love and respect us; they will return and realize we were the best things that ever happened to them. Golly gee, they may even propose, stop seeing others, speak to us with kindness.
Maybe just maybe if we are nice, giving, available, forgiving and always ready for them they will see that we indeed have value and love us. They will change their behavior that has hurt us. We look in the mirror and think; “why does he or she do such cruel things to me”? BECAUSE YOU ALLOW THIS!
You may not even realize what your behavior is showing others. How you love and respect yourself will teach others how to treat you. Generally speaking, most people do not change, they are who they are. Sometimes they are sweet as sugar in the beginning but then you become introduced to whom they really are. If you respect yourself you only allow so much nonsense and abuse in your life. If you keep allowing whomever to keep using you for whatever reasons, you tell them in a subconscious way that they can do whatever they want whenever they want because they know you will always be available.
I never enjoyed being used and emotionally dragged through the mud. After a while I began to think if I made certain changes in myself or even tried to change my personality to better suite the other person’s needs, they would see what a great person I was. I am a fantastic person, I should not have to change who I am at the core. Yes, we all have to make improvements so we can grow. The core of who I am is a good, decent person who is a loving mother, daughter and friend. I love what I do for a living; I am blessed to be able to practice being a Psychic. I enjoy helping other people. I am crazy about my kids. I adore my animals who adopted me. I love rescuing animals.
I used to allow everyone to take advantage of my nature because I felt they would like or love me better. That never works. I promise this. Just like I cannot change who I am and my basic principles, no one else can change theirs.
You do not stay in any relationship so you can prove something and anticipate someone else will change to accommodate your desires or needs. It is painful when people disappoint us and believe me when I say that I have been very taken back and hurt to the very depth of my existence. I would pray for a miracle. My miracle was that God knew better and as the song goes; “sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers”…. You know the rest. (Garth Brooks) Great song! When you’re in the middle of the mess you cannot see the forest from the trees. You can only feel the loss. You may try to negotiate ways to get that person to be who they once were or become a better person.
Try this; you become the better person that chooses to become enlightened and evolve. Start loving who you are and you change your life. When you do this as time goes by you start to look back in hindsight and see what you missed. What you missed was aggravation, stagnation, more pain, the list goes on. These things take time. I know it’s painful. I have walked this path. Nothing will get better until we choose to make it so. If you need to seek the counsel of a licensed therapist, go for it. Whatever gets you through. The only person you can ever change is yourself.
“Just because he doesn’t answer, don’t mean He don’t care. One of God’s greatest gifts is unanswered prayers”.
A toast to a happier, healthier life!
Hugs,
Michelle