When you look at something or someone for any reason, any occasion, you immediately have thoughts about what they’re wearing, their body, hair color, etc. When you look at a house or a friends decor, you automatically think you like it, hate it or how you might change it. Our thought process is a judgement based on how we have “seen” the “something”.
It’s human nature. Look, then think. We are either approving or not. Then we judge. Every morning I get up do my thing and check the weather. When I’m out walking my dogs I take notice at my neighbors, my area. All this information gets processed in my head. There are so many thoughts that pass through my brain as I process what’s around me. This observation sends information to my brain then my thoughts are processed.
The result of this activity is a “judgement“. That judgement then leads me to a thought. In this case the thought is about what I will wear today?
This kind of judgement is a result of observing everyday basic living. But what about judgements that are based on something else. Judgements- I may not think highly of someone because of how they talk or what they believe in, and lately their political view. Don’t jump down my throat just yet, dive in with me.
These kinds of judgments are judgements based on limited information. Our brain takes this limited information and turns it into something it is not, like judgement. Let me give you an example.
Observation vs Judgement
I was raised in a very conservative family. A small close knit town. They yelled and screamed over the family business. They were just loud people. If you wanted peace, you werent going to find it with seven people under one roof with a revolving door for other family members, or friends. I never felt judged. I assumed everyone thought like my family, everyone was loud and bold. Because I was the first girl after my grandparents had all boys, the first grandchild, I was favored. Did I know or understand that? Not at all.
I was raised to be respectful, polite, conservative and quiet. (As you can tell that didn’t work to well. The quiet part.) Later on in life talking with family, it was brought to my attention that my cousins, the other grandkids, felt slighted. I was judged because of what my grandparents didn’t do. They favored me as I lived with them.
I was not a spoiled brat. I had no clue I was favored or treated differently. How would I have known that? Looking back, I can see their point. However, Im still judged. No one grew up to observe the fact that I had no stake in being favored nor did I know. Later on as we all grew and went our way, I opened up about my gifts. Yay, me! Talk about judgement. Instead of asking or observing my morality, my empathy and any gifts, certain people judged.
Even now, they still judge. Sadly, I am not close to the cousins I grew up with. My second oldest cousin was my maid of honor. We don’t talk because of my gifts. I’ve heard through the grapevine she had her children making fun of me at one occasion. There are other issues she has which I am left to guess at what those are. I tried for years to close the gap, not be apart. She won’t budge. No olive branch was taken. Just for the record; the door is always open.
Instead of merely talking to me, I’ve been judged not observed, nor any kind of discussion. This hurt and sometimes still does. It won’t be rectified. I wish it could be.
What I’ve learned was to not assume but to observe. To listen, ask, not judge. I didn’t like being treated as if I was an evil person and a favored little brat. I had no control over what my grandparents did. I had no control over these gifts I use today. I can absolutely understand their point. Yet, I was not responsible for others.
It’s more then obvious that this was my path in life. I’ve completed nursing, psychology and my metaphysical journey. No one paid for it, no one put in the work but me. It was never easy.
I am where I’m supposed to be with much more to accomplish.
Have you been on Social Media? Have you watched how family and friends are arguing over political views? You’d have to be deaf, dumb and yes, blind not to see the disaster people are causing. Is it worth losing the people we hold dear over political views? I don’t think so.
I’ve stated my case, my belief, my opinion and why. I may not agree with others but who the hell am I to judge? Who the hell are you to pass judgment?
Why can’t we just agree to disagree or have a human conversation? Why are we allowing the world to divide us? We are we passing judgment on others? Everyone wants to be right and I believe we all are. Why? Because we all have our own unique belief system. That’s good enough.
Religion and Politics are truly taboo subjects. They’re to hot to hit on. Most people can’t seperate to converse on either topic and be polite. No, thats not judging. It’s just a fact. A sad one.
We are all important and all imperfect. Observing vs Judging. Listening vs Learning. Respect over ego. Can we ever just accept each other as we all are? Can we find kindness and consideration instead of criticism?
I assumed everyone was raised as I was. They were not. That‘s perfect.
We always have something to learn from others if we are truly wiling. We can observe without judgment. We can agree to disagree.
Let your brain process the words, actions and thoughts of others. Take a few breaths and then speak. Can you possibly approve of the fact that we are not all the same?
Families and friends are to be loved and cherished. One day they won’t be here to judge or converse with! Be kind.
Following In my professors words;
Yours in love & light,
Michelle