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Sticks and Stones- Words that Hurt.

It is very easy to get caught up in the drama and gossip that we are constantly being subjected to. It seems no matter how hard you try you hear something or have someone ask you your thoughts. Most men that I know have no desire to delve into the drama. Most women are more than happy to pick up the phone and share what the new scoop is. Whether it is true or not is irrelevant. The damage that is caused from spreading the “chatter” is damaging. Sometimes to the point that it so hurtful it aches within the soul and leaves a nasty film on the skin that last for many years to come.

We all do it. We all fall short. I wonder how many times we think of the other party and the consequences it brings? If you have been a victim of such things you know how horrible it can spin as well as how bad you feel when you know most of the time it’s not true. The thing about gossip is that it spreads from one person to the next and by the time it goes down the sewage line, half of it is so far from the truth as everyone puts their personal spin, the other half is not always truth. The person who is being gossiped about never gets the chance to vindicate themselves. “Did you know she did that, it looks terrible. Who can do such a thing and think we actually believe they were faithful”? “Can you believe he actually said that to Carrie with that attitude”?

Excuse me but were you in the room and heard that with your own ears, or saw what happened with your own eyes? In Relationships, all Relationships, there is a certain amount of compromise. There is a trust factor. We learn to give, receive, trust and be trustworthy. We are to mediate not sell secrets through the phone lines. When does that relationship become so compromising we compromise ourselves, our integrity or compassion?

When do we grow up and realize there are always three sides to a story; yours, mine and the truth. Gossip, Drama and tail telling hurts. I used to think if someone was speaking poorly of me they must be bored. Maybe they were, maybe they found whatever they heard or concluded to be that interesting! Wow, I am famous!! It still hurt. Most of what came back to me appalled me. My life was thrown on spin cycle just like a washing machine. I found it insane and horribly hurtful. Do I confront these people? How do I fix this insanity? When I was married I tried on several occasions to explain myself. It proved useless. My words meant nothing, I felt appeased. Now, I am on the road to recovery. I am starting to understand no matter what people have said, I know what the truth is, I lived it. No one lived in my home and no one walked in OUR shoes.

I’ve since heard a few comments here and there as the rumors, drama lives on. They hurt. I will live. I know they feel he is better off. They know their own lives, not mine or even really his.

The way to vindicate yourself in a dramatic situation is to walk away. You cannot prove to others your truth. You only live day by day to strive to be a better person, learn from the lessons and the hurt. We learn not to behave the way others have. We learn that gossip hurts as we have all fallen victim. I have done both. It is within our best interest to learn to live in love, walk in faith and use better judgement. In the end, we need to understand that old saying; “Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me”. Not so.

Words hurt. Words carry weight and the tongue is mightier than the sword. Use your words wisely maybe not at all. Silence is golden. Walk in peace and try to put yourself in other people’s shoes.



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