Dating in this day and age can be very taxing, often traumatic. It’s not supposed to be that way. The experience is supposed to be fun and a process that allows both parties to feel a connection and the idea of whether there is a vested interest to pursue more; a relationship.
Here are 10 of the biggest mistakes we make when we date.
1. We expect instant connections. You have to really take time to get to know someone. A date is just a date. Let it ride.
2. We assume each person might be the one. – Let it ride, assume nothing. Therefore, you may find yourself having a better time when you’re not seeing him or her as the father or mother of your children.
3. We’ve been on a date they should at least call to say hello. No. There is no obligation on a date. Obligations come when there is a connection. Obligations come when there is an agreement that you are both obligated and in a monogamous relationship. This is a date,
4. We slept together. That should mean something. – As much as I hate to say this, it should but often doesn’t. Sex in the dating world is just sex. If you haven’t notarized your intimacy with a clerk of the court stating stipulations, all bets are off.
5. I met his family. – It’s always nice to be invited to a social event. Think about how many times you’ve watched a hallmark movie and the single guy brought 7 different dates to 7 different weddings? You know the ending. He finds that one girl that he falls for and then she gets to go to their wedding.
6. We’ve been out on 4 dates. – Four dates? Four times? That sounds like you are planning your bridal shower. Don’t! It took my husband four years of being in a monogamous relationship with me before he proposed. (He was saving for a ring) Don’t ask. Four dates means just that four dates. He/She or she is getting to know you.
7. We have so much in common- Many people do. That doesn't mean it's official.
8. I met his/her friends. – That’s a good thing and will almost certainly mean they feel you are safe to introduce you to the people that are important to them. Connections are not only made through the two of you but also via friends and family.
9. We went away for the weekend. – And, that was fun. But its a weekend not a honeymoon. Enjoy it as that and allow yourself to just be with the person.
10. We talked about kids and family life- That’s good! That still doesn’t tell you that they want it with you.
If you are too busy assuming and rushing to the bridal shop to pick out that stunning dress or handsome tux, you’re not giving it the time and patience it needs to grow.
Dating can be fun, unless your date is picking their teeth with a toothpick after dinner.
You need to not mix signals and words when being out there. The truth is people are unique and take time to get to know. You are unique. When you jump to conclusions, your are jumping into an empty pool of questions.
When things move along and that agreement is spoken that you BOTH want to be monogamous and go forward, then you’re in it.
I promise you, when someone wants to be in your life they make it known.
I look forward to helping you find your partner!