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Why do you settle?

I’ve often asked myself why people settle for something that they don’t want, why did they choose a partner just to have around when they don’t feel that flame, that firework that goes off each time they spend moments with another person?

Why do people tolerate what they detest? Why don’t you feel you deserve the best?

Why are we afraid to let go when we know it’s not going anywhere?

I’ve made excuses for many situations with many people for a very large part of my life in hopes that they would change or they would notice that I was doing my best. I was worthy of their affection, their attention and most of all, their loyalty.

I didn’t want to go through another heartbreak.

I didn’t want to deal with the pain. I didn’t want to spend holidays, birthdays, gatherings all alone.

I didn’t want to sit on my couch watching silly movies and thinking about how nice it would’ve been if that person would’ve been real.

After all my experiences and there haven’t been-many, but there have been enough. I decided that it comes down to One thing; trust.

There is a level of comfortability that we should be able to have with another human being if we are planning to spend any kind of time with that person.

If you’re uncomfortable and you see that you’re efforts aren’t being reciprocated and you don’t see results from something that is not manifesting into what you truly want, then it’s time for you to re-examine your goal and what you’re willing to put up with.

The truth is you shouldn’t have to put up with something or someone just because you’re afraid to be alone or you feel that there’s nothing left, or anyone left out in the world that is actually honest and compassionate that would fit you as a partner.

That’s simply not true. It just feels that way when you’re in the middle of it and you keep questioning why does this nonsense keep happening.

When you first meet someone you have to take into consideration that that person is new to you as you are to them and you have to give them an opportunity as well as yourself to be able to get to know them.

Don’t jump into something or expect anything. Feel it out, give it a chance.

If there are no promises, you are dating! In order for any relationship to become a relationship you have to date so please don’t expect to meet somebody go on two dates and think that you’re going to marry them and have their children or grandchildren next year.

Dating does not mean commitment. Dating means I’m going to see other people if I choose and I will take my time getting to know you and you will do the same.

When a commitment is reached and both parties want to enter into that opportunity TOGETHER, this is when you have a right to ask questions. Expect to be more vulnerable to that person invite them to be more vulnerable to you, that is where a relationship starts to begin grow and flourish.

If it doesn’t fit after several attempts to try to make it into something special, you shouldn’t have to wear it. You’re settling.

When people settle they become bored, irritable, sad, upset and lost. In reality, most people are willing to settle for what they can get instead of waiting for what they deserve.

They’re afraid they’re too old that they’ve missed their chance, none of that is true.

I’ve watched it happen way too many times where somebody waited and figured they were going to live the rest of their life alone because they were in the middle of their life or mid age and there would be nothing left for them to enjoy as far as a romantic partner. Things change.

Then someone came along that fit perfectly with them and they were able to start enjoying their life again with a partner. Believe it or not you can enjoy your life without somebody sharing it with you. It’s very special when someone actually does share with you.

Isn’t it better to be with someone who absolutely wants to be with you instead of settling for somebody and taking crumbs?

That’s a choice that everybody has to make but it has been my experience that I’d rather have it all or nothing. I am fortunate and blessed to be able to say that in spite of all the years of aggravation, confusion, pain and hurt I am with the person that I am supposed to be with because I love them more than I could ever express and they feel the same.

I never have to wonder if they’re hiding something. Are they lying, cheating and feeding me a line of nonsense? Not at all.

I never have to wonder if there’s something going on behind the scenes with their phone or if they’ve gone for the day at somebody else’s house and not saying the truth. Being somewhere else. There is no covering up, I never have to second-guess what is going on.

No one in this world could compare to the love that I feel for this person and no one in this world could ever take their place and I don’t want anybody else to fill their shoes because their shoes are custom-made for me and my shoes are custom-made for them.

If you give yourself the chance and if you believe that you deserve the very best, because indeed you do, in time, the right time, you will find your person. You just have to know that you’re worthy of receiving everything that makes you happy within a relationship. That is the truth.

Remember this as well.. words are just words. Actions speak volumes.

When someone truly cares about you, no matter what kind of relationship it is, they make it a point to be part of your life.

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So true, beautifully said!

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