The commitment Phobic non- commital relationship. Sounds familiar?
Have you ever fallen in love with someone with commitment phobia? This is a common topic. I will often discuss how important it is to look for the deeper meaning in life but if someone tells you outright that they just can’t commit, I would suggest that you make sure you pay attention. If you only want a casual and even non-exclusive relationship, then you’ve found your match, but if you’re carrying on with them in the hope that they’ll change, you’re likely to get hurt.
Often,our relationships mirror our personal world. If you find that you are falling for someone who is a confessed commitment phobe, what could it possibly be revealing about you? Here are some things to take into consideration-
Do you love you and think that you are worthy of love? If we feel that we don’t deserve to be loved for any reason we can allow ourselves to become involved with people who just can’t love us in the way we need. Commitment phobes aren’t out to hurt us deliberately. They are just being who they are. Delve into why you don’t feel as though you deserve more. That’s a big one
What’s the catch? Is there a catch? Does the feeling of being in love with a commitment phobe remind you of anything? Experiences from our past can mean that we can mistake pain, longing and all sorts of other things that aren’t love for love. Karen’s father left when she was just a toddler and she never saw him again. She can still remember crying herself to sleep when he went. As an adult, every time she meets someone who seems to be pulling away, it evokes that same feeling of loss and she thinks it must be love.
Does it mask your own lack of ability to commit? Sometimes we can match up with someone with exactly the same issues as us in a way that allows us to use their stuff as a smokescreen for what we aren’t yet ready to deal with in ourselves. If you struggle with commitment, getting involved with someone who is as jumpy as a rabbit hearing a farmer’s dog will provide you with lots of external diversions that keep you from looking inside.