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The Dreadful February the 14th

Every year people spend thousands of dollars on Flowers, candy, stuffed animals and jewelry. Is Valentine’s Day really the most romantic day of the year? I say no. It is just another day where retailers make money and women slip into fear mode while men customarily panic over what they should or should not do. I would honestly hate to be a man. The pressure of performing and being Romeo for his Juliet stinks. It’s too commercialized.

Love is a 24 hour 365 day a year feeling. Valentine’s Day means nothing if the rest of the year is rotten and if one day is the only day we have to show someone with gifts how we feel. Gifts are superficial. Flowers wilt and candy gets eaten. Jewelry, well, that does last. None the less it’s all pressure from my perspective.

I once had someone bring me beautiful wildflowers from the yard. They were mixed with bright colors. He wrapped them in a ribbon and wrote “I love you” on a paper towel. I will never forget that gift. It meant more to me then the store bought roses or the Russell Stover candies. He was not in a financial position to buy the “expected” gifts but I am not someone who expects much. Simple things are big to me. I know, you probably don’t believe that but it is true.

Here are some tips to get you through the 14th whether you are alone or sharing the day with someone special.

One way to not be disappointed is to not expect anything. Keep your mind clear and focus on simple thoughts and things.

“Love is not about a particular day, or about cards, flowers, or even being in a relationship. The illusion that coupled people are happy and well-loved can feed feelings of loneliness or isolation for people who aren’t with someone, and wish they were. Seeing the illusory nature of this holiday can be the first step in feeling better about being precisely who and where you are.”

You know how everyone always says that what you do for a living doesn’t define who you are? Well, neither does your relationship status. Whether or not you’re in a relationship doesn’t say anything about who you are as a person. Don’t let a couple-driven culture make you feel like there’s something wrong with you. Remember that being single is not something to be ashamed of. It just so happens that being single on Valentine’s Day tends to create feelings of self-doubt and loneliness due to all the media messages we’re bombarded with telling us that we need someone else to complete us.

Most counselors will tell you the most important message that single people should remember on Valentine’s Day is that love is not just for couples; it’s for ALL of us. Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be about celebrating the fact that you have a “special someone” to be romantic with. Look at Valentine’s Day not just as a celebration of romance but as a time to reflect on all the love in your life–your friends, your family, and even your love and appreciation of yourself!

Wow, appreciate yourself. Cool concept. Guys, you don’t have to shower that day or wait in line buying that perfect card hoping its good enough. Ladies you don’t have to shave your legs, make sure your clothes are perfect or have your nails done.

If you are in a relationship how about taking simple steps to show that special person you care?

Fold a piece of paper and write a card out. You can even write a love letter or a funny but caring poem.  Pick from that field some pretty wildflowers and grab some cheap ribbon and wrap them together. Tag the card on it. Make them breakfast and bring it over, or serve them in bed.

Make him a fresh pot of coffee, hand him his coffee in his favorite cup with a heart card on it.

Any form of affection is appreciated. Rent a few movies. One he likes one you like. Keep it simple.

When something is shared from the heart and is sincere you really can’t go wrong.

Happy Valentine’s Day – May your year be filled with love and happiness.

May the heart that I love, know in his that I will care for him always. Whether he is near or far, may he see with his heart and not his eyes.



Certified Psychic & Psychic Medium

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