Relationships are supposed to be easy, not taxing. 50 years ago people viewed relationships as being married and having children. Men and women had a specific place in the household. It’s 2010. Most women are independent; most people are raising children in a single family home. Dating can be a royal pain in the butt. My friends tell me it’s taxing, uncomfortable and often exhausting. My female friends gripe about the men they meet come and go, they have no depth. My male friends tell me the girls want to jump right into a serious relationship by the 3rd date. They want marriage. (I would really like to ask those girls if they have lost their marbles.) No one would ever let me loose to speak my mind. My friends know I am outspoken. For the record, I am working on that. LOL
These questions come up often in readings. It’s really simple to answer yet somewhat complicated. Ya know the two fold answer? From a woman’s point of view here are a few things I can share:
You attract what you put out. If you want a normal, healthy person, then take no prisoners.
People who are telling you they want to be in your life but then disappear or give a thousand excuses are full of you know what. Unless they have documented memory loss or they have a profession that takes them to faraway places, they are simply pulling your leg. Maybe they pulled a few other things and decided to walk afterwards. Unless they have major emergencies and I mean serious things that are not funny, they are just unemotionally available.
If you want to date and be with someone who wants a committed relationship sometime down the line then you have to be ready to weed out the unemotionally available ones. Give it a whirl. Do not expect someone to be around immediately. Be honest with your expectations. Remember that other people have jobs, family and friends. They should have a decent job and a social life with a good circle of friends. THAT IS NORMAL. Don’t be pushy; give them the benefit of the doubt. However, if after a fair amount of time the excuses keep rolling in week after week, month after month, then you may want to re-consider what kind of person you are involved with.
Emotionally available people call, they even speak when on the phone. They make plans and more often than not, keep those plans. They show an ongoing interest in you, they pay attention. You don’t always get what you give in this world but you can draw boundaries. The problem is will you stick with them?
People who really want to be in your life will make damn certain they are part of your life. They will care, they will show up. There is no way to get around this. Most situations are not extenuating.
On a side note do the world a favor – if you find you are not that interested in someone or have lost interest, then tell them. Be honest so you don’t drag that person around. You wouldn’t want it done to you.
Now in regards to some of my friends of the opposite sex- Ladies, please tell me how you can expect marriage from someone after a few dates? You could not possibly know that person well enough to want to spend your life with them. Marriage is no joke, it is a serious commitment. There are so many marriages that fail these days. I myself do believe in marriage and long term commitments. I would much rather wait it out, enjoy and get to know someone then jump. You always want to look before you leap. Think of a swimming pool. Someone tells you that the end of the pool has a section that is 8 feet deep. You haven’t seen the pool but you love to dive and swim. Without looking to make sure the water was deep enough, would you just obliviously dive in? Imagine if you did and it was only 3 feet deep? Oops! UGH.. This would be painful, ya think? Imagine if you did get married or moved in with someone you hardly know and it fell to pieces? Oops again? My friend has an expression; “It is easier to day I do than I don’t”. That is so true.
Don’t sell yourself short.
Wishing you emotionally and physically stimulating experiences that make you smile from ear to ear!
Michelle
Certified, Licensed Intuitive Practitioner