After speaking to a very good friend today about someone that was so near and dear to me, I started to really understand what she was trying to explain. I know I’m very sensitive and the first to always say I’m sorry, even if I don’t know what I did. I’m always ready to work out any issues and customarily will let someone know if there is something that can be rectified, lets do it.
I shared and enjoyed a 10 year friendship. I held this person in high esteem. After spending a long weekend with them over the summer and finally meeting in person, the dynamics changed. I could see the friendship was falling to pieces, I could see how they chose to not address my feelings when I explained how hurt I was over an incident that could have been very much avoided. I called them out with tears in my eyes. I guess that may have been too much. I’m honestly still not sure.
The person who was high on a pedestal had fallen off, this hurt me. All of us perceive people and ourselves very differently. It’s easy to keep rose colored glasses on when you love another. I’m certain I am not perfect but whatever transpired between us my dear friend has since slipped away. I’ve texted, called, e mailed. There is always an answer that he is busy. I hope so. He deserves to be busy at his job and happy with his Family. I am also certain that he could find some time to keep in touch if that was his choice. We are all busy. I miss him.
When people walk out of our lives for whatever the reason, there really isn’t much we can do. Closure is left untouched like an open sore. It gets confusing. When you’ve shared so many moments of your life with another and then they vanish, it is painful.
This morning my friend was very helpful. Her tips were heartfelt, non-judgmental and soothing.
No more reaching out
People have paths to follow that are not always parellel to mine.
He has his own way of doing things.
No one is ever that busy to drop a line.
Let it go maybe he will come back and return to the friendship
Seeing I have tried everything and he still does not make time, it is on him.
People grow, change and maybe he needs this time to do so. I can learn from this.
She’s correct in all she said. It doesn’t take away the feeling of loss. It does get me thinking. I truly don’t know if the friendship will ever be put back on track, I hope so. If this person never returns to my life again, I will have to go on. Life does that to you.
We don’t always get the answers we need or hope for. Closure is not always given. I will say that if you, like me, have tried everything and this is your end result, it is best to let go and let God. As much as I dearly love this person, it’s on him. I did everything I could. I’m still his friend, I still love and miss him. It’s his path, not mine.
We should all keep this in mind.
With Love,
Michelle